Thursday, 4 January 2018

A stern talking-to

I’ve stopped making New Year resolutions other than the general “must do better this year” ones; anything more complicated never lasts more than a few days.  This past year I’ve been trying to keep the “must do better” more firmly in mind as I go about my gardening business, and giving myself a stern talking-to as required.  It hasn’t always worked, but I am listening to myself more and more and taking action at least sometimes!  The conversations with myself generally fall into a few specific categories:


1. Weeds
A weed is a plant in the wrong place.  Even if it’s an otherwise desirable plant that would be welcome if it were in the right place.  Get them out, or move them elsewhere.  Yes, even the useful plants.  Yes, that includes the alpine strawberry plants that have been providing little desserts all autumn, and the oregano, even though it attracts bees and butterflies.  There are too many of them and they’re taking up space that ought to be used by other plants.  Decide where you want them and put them there, and weed out the rest; don’t let them colonise other places.  (I’ve been a little better at this during 2017; several plants have gone into the green waste bin.)  You also need to get on top of the lily-of-the-valley that is spreading out from its foothold in the veg plot; get digging!  And what are you going to do about the hypericum that has self-seeded under the osmanthus; keep it, move it or ditch it? – make up your mind!

2. Paths
And on the subject of the strawberries and oregano: they are particularly undesirable when they are in the middle of the veg plot paths.  If they’re in the way in the veg beds, they’re even more in the way when they’re growing in the path and you have to step on the beds to go around them!  Get them out as a priority, and weed the paths so that you can use them properly.  The whole point of a path is that it's a clear space for you to walk on.

3. Be ruthless!
Another aspect of ‘plant in the wrong place’ is the overall planting plan, which contains too many shrubs that have outgrown their welcome.  You planted them far too close to begin with, and many of them are now 20 years old and far, far bigger than you ever envisaged.  The time has come to decide whether to remove some altogether, and to be stricter about cutting back and shaping the others.  You’ve been talking for years about taking out the big philadelphus that hardly ever flowers, but the problem is that it’s jammed in between other big shrubs and you can’t get in there to do anything about it!  The neighbouring Viburnum tinus ‘Gwenlian’ that was damaged by the snowfall recently is a good place to start; cut it hard back (take cuttings first if you must, since it is admittedly a good plant, but where else in the garden would you put additional plants?), then get in there with the pruning saw and do some radical removal.  There are about six big shrubs in that area in a space that a sensible gardener would hesitate to plant up with two, so decide what you’re going to keep and get rid of the others.  And make a decision about the brachyglottis (what used to be Senecio greyii); it has become woody beyond all reasonable hope of redemption, even if the sparrows do love it as a safe place to hang out in, so take it out altogether.  Ok, so you’ve taken cuttings of it, but think very hard before you plant any of them, unless you’re going to keep them well trimmed; after all, you don’t actually like the flowers, so cutting them off wouldn’t be a problem.  Both it and the viburnums could be kept within bounds if you’re rigorous about cutting them back.  And there are other shrubs that need reducing in size (the aucuba, both the osmanthuses, the Buddleja alternifolia ….).  Thinking about the space occupied by the brachyglottis: it’s a space that needs a smallish (NB: smallish! Don’t get carried away) evergreen or evergrey, so a well-shaped brachyglottis would be a possibility, or perhaps one of the hebes, or even another Viburnum davidii.  But only one of those, mind you; don’t even think of squeezing in two or more!

4. Get those jobs done
You’ve been telling yourself for months that you ought to do some discreet tying-in of the columnar yews to prevent their branches from falling outwards as they grow.  And what happens?  We’ve had two big falls of snow, pulling the branches down, and now one of the yews is out of shape.  You still have time to fix it, but get it done before we get more snow.  Likewise the two Viburnum tinus with the branches broken by the snow.  Yes, you will have a lot of prunings to get rid of, but needs must.  And don’t put off lifting and dividing the iris in the pond; yes, it’s a horrible and difficult job, but it will become more horrible and more difficult if you ignore it.  It won’t go away.

5. Labelling
Actually you have been better at this in the past year.  You have finally learnt that you won’t remember which bulbs you have planted in that pot unless you label it, and that you won’t necessarily recognise the contents of small pots, especially in winter if they’re deciduous.  You’ve got labels, so use them!  And, since the pack of labels is running low, get yourself some wooden ones instead and reduce the amount of plastic you’re using in the garden, even by just a little; it all helps.

6. Keep talking to yourself in 2018 - it does work, sometimes!

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